I’ve been with my partner for three years and we recently decided to dip our toes in the waters of swinging. But I’m going to toss it out there just in case: Let your boyfriend go down on you until you’re completely turned on, then let him take his time fucking you until he comes, and then-and only then-let him finger you until you come.
Now, you’re a grown-ass, sexually active, thirty-year-old-or-thereabouts citizen of the European Union, WONDER, and I’m guessing this may have already occurred to you. Indeed, a person can have a meaningful sexual encounter that leaves them feeling satisfied without coming at all.īut if you want to shake things up with the boyfriend-if you occasionally wanna give your boyfriend a chance to enjoy fucking you without being hurried along-you could always wait to come until after he does. Seeing as you read my column, WONDER, you must know (I hope you know) that two or more people can have a satisfying and meaningful sexual encounter that leaves them feeling connected and satisfied without anyone being penetrated during PIV or PIT or PIB and without anyone coming inside anyone else. In the moment-in those moments-it’s more about what’s going on between your ears, i.e., more of what sex means than how it feels. But sex doesn’t feel real and complete for you until your boyfriend comes inside you. Your physical needs have already been satisfied your boyfriend got you off with his fingers. It’s not about how it feels, WONDER, it’s about what it means. And since your boyfriend comes inside you after you’ve already come-usually after you’ve asked him to hurry things along-it’s not about your pleasure in that moment. It means something to you-something important-when your boyfriend comes inside you during PIV intercourse. And sometimes what a sex act and/or an eroticized act symbolizes is just as or more important than how it feels. Sex meets our physical need for touch, for pleasure, and for release, WONDER, but it also meets emotional needs. You’re in a better position to judge where this need of yours comes from-and you’re most likely in the missionary position (not that there’s anything wrong with that!)-but if I were to hazard a guess…
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